Inspired Lives I Class 11

[Devora1]

The Orthodox world is facing a “Shiduchim-crisis”. Many boys and girls who have been on the “market” for years and decades, are still trying to find a suitable match. Based on the Shidduch between the Steipler and his wife-to-be, what practical solutions could you suggest for the current crisis and how would you suggest implementing them?


I don't think we can draw too many conclusions from the Steipler's shidduch as he and his wife were on a very high level beyond most average people. However, we can still learn from the fact that the Steipler's wife agreed to marry him even after he had fallen asleep at their first meeting that sometimes a person needs to be given a second chance and that there may be reasonable explanations behind inexplicable actions which should be discussed before discarding a potential shidduch.

[Tikvah]

I agree that people need second chance in Shiduchim but nonetheless am very troubled by this story and many others about the Steipler. His behavior seemed outside the bounds of normal and reasonable. Not behavior we should be trying to emulate.

Tikvah

[Devora1]

Indeed the Steipler was a gadol and practiced many chumros which the Torah does not require of an average person, however learning about the great sacrifices he took to be mekayim mitzvos should inspire us to want to observe mitzvos in its most proper way especially as we are living in affluence and comfortable surroundings compared to what generations before had to struggle with.

[Tikvah]

While I am troubled by the Stiepler standing on the bus and falling asleep on his first date, I can't really comment on what was or was not appropriate for the Stiepler and his wife. But I do think it is important to realize that the most chumradik way of doing things can or cannot be the ideal way to be mekayom the mitzvot. Sometimes the most kuladik way is the best.

In Class 12 Rav Teller talks about how the Stiepler, himself, stopped keeping chumrot that were hard on other people.

Tikvah