Juggling

[Tzippy2]

As young women balancing school and work, or mothers balancing parenting, career, and homemaking, we each have our own unique daily juggling act to pull off.  Share your struggles and successes in this area with the rest of us, and let's help one another successfully juggle all of our responsibilities!

[Chana2]

As a new mother, the challenges of balancing school, work, motherhood and marriage are much harder than I expected. I think keeping a perspective of the purpose of it all greatly helps. But I find it hard to remain positive when I feel like I am drowning in responsibilities and sorely lacking sleep. Any suggestions would be appreciated

[chaya]

gosh you're doing alot! could it be you've taken on too
much?

[Fraidi1]

chaya has a point.  But there are times when we have no choice but to do a lot.  My advice to you, Chana, is to cut corners on the less important priorities, make sure that you take at least one 30 minute nap a day NO MATTER WHAT, and always remember that emotional focus on husband and children are more important than taking care of their physical needs.  So in other words, you have a choice:  either you can make a delicious fresh chicken dinner after getting back from school, nursing your baby, and grabbing a bite, but will then need to rush off to work without allowing yourself any mental 'down-time', or you can come home, nurse your baby, and then stick some hot dogs in a pot while you catch your breath.  So  forget the chicken dinner.  Your husband and baby will blossom a lot more by being in the presence of a calm wife/mother.  Other places to cut corners are by sending out laundry and bringing in cleaning help when necessary. 

[Batya]

Remember that you cannot fulfill all of your duties perfectly, but you can try your best.  That will eliminate some unecessary pressure from your life.

[Hally2]

Its so interesting how many woman today are really everyday heroes...running from work, to day care, to home and still managing to have guests for Shabbos...wow, some woman really deserve a real pat on the back! There's a lot of pressure I think in our modern times to be a full time everything. I understand when women work a lot in order to put food on the table, but if its possible perhaps it would be ok to focus on other full time jobs such as the amazing zechus of raising children and making ones home a real place of avodas Hashem- serving G-d. I think there is a real pressure to be super-heroes today. But, is it possible or really the best thing? I commend women who "do it all", but there must be time to sit back and enjoy and reflect on all we have.

[Tzippy2]

That's right.  We don't need to be superwomen.  We should remember that our main purpose is building our homes and families.  it's hard for superwomen to be happy and relaxes and that will affect the atmosphere in the home.  But it is hard to find the ''perfect job' that brings in adequate income and also allows us the mental space and actual time to focus on our families.  Is there an answer to this modern-day conundrum?

[Chana2]

I know its important to have some "down time" for myself or take naps during the day but I feel so guilty afterwards that I think its not worth it. Life is meant to be challenging and as I grow older I feel it more and more so. Thanks for all the support but sometimes I think that this is how it is and that's the purpose of life, to work hard.

[chaya3]

If I begin to feel like a martyr then I understand that my busy life is not
serving H' and I need to stand back and carefully take stock  and ask...
who then am I serving.....

[Brochi]

What a good point.  The worst way to deal with juggling issues is to feel like a martyr.

[Hally2]

Yes, it is important to work hard and this is a big aspect of out lives. But, how can we possibly ever appreciate all our work if we are too busy to ever step back and take it all in. Part of "working hard" I think is to recognize when its time to work on oneself via rejuvenating so that all our efforts are truly refined and accomplish much. If we are burnt out and unable to "give it our all" then I think in a way any work we are doing is detrimental in a way. For example, if we are exhausted and haven't slept all night and have been going all day and then  try to go and cook up a gourmet meal chances are either a) the meal won't come out so well and we will be unhappy or b) all our efforts won't feel like they are appreciated enough because even though everyone says "thank you", nothing can appease the extreme tiredness and exhaustion we feel. It may be better to give ourselves a break in those circumstances and do take out or let other chip in. We cannot force ourselves beyond the limit because we may end up not even doing a mediocre job at the more "basic" things in life.