Meaning of Trust, Class 3

[Chana4]

Wow.  To paraphrase the pop hit, this was like "Killing Me Softly With Her Shiur".  Sort of sums up everything I've managed to learn about emuna and bitachon in the last 20 years.

[Liora1]

When Reb. Heller gave the example of the young woman feeling her heart was made of stone and pleaded to Hashem to open her heart, I remembered back to when I was beginning to become frum and I felt my heart was closed. I also would plead to Hashem to open my heart but I still felt so closed. It has been many yrs. since then but I still feel that I am not able to really feel an intimate relationship w/ Hashem. I intellectually understand what Reb. Heller is saying but I cannot seem to internalize the knowledge. Does the concept of hishtadlus ruchani mean that developing a relationship w/ Hashem is a process and that feeling close to Hashem happens on occasion but not all the time? Is feeling close to Hashem at all times mean that a person has to be on a very high spiritual level?

[barbara1]

When I feel myself having critical thoughts or negative feelings towards people or situations, I try to immediately direct my heart to Hashem.  I plead to Him to open my heart and to let me accept that person  for who they are.   I constantly remind myself that my tafkid (job) in this world is to only work on myself  - not on other people.   When I feel myself being taken over by worries or fears (but what if.........?) I pray to Hashem to let me let go of those feelings and to trust in Him that He only does what is good for me.   I ask Him to help me believe that He has given me all the tools I need to deal with the situations He sends me.   Rebbetzin Heller said that hishtadlut ruchani can only happen with Hashem's help.   For me it means constantly engaging myself with Hashem.   And not only when things aren't going well.   I try to really experience  whatever I am doing, whether it is smelling the soap from washing dishes, or just walking around outside in my neighborhood and noticing all the beauty around me.   Sometimes when I am folding the laundry I find myself trying to just "finish it already!"    I try to remember to even use laundry folding as an opportunity to get close with Hashem!   I can lovingly fold each piece of clothing of my family and ask Hashem that He bless each one with whatever he or she may need at the time.     It takes constant effort.   Suddenly I might find myself not having bad feelings toward a person who in the past would always irk me.   I know Hashem has heard my prayers and is opening my heart .   It might not be a ground-shaking experience but it is a subtle and comforting and all-enveloping sort of feeling and I know it all depends on how hard I am working to nourish it.

[miriam4]

A great sefer about how to have a relationship with Hashem is Bilvavi Mishkan Evneh, available in English - Build for Me a Sanctuary. A simple tip I've learned is to ask Hashem for help in cultivating a relationship with Him

[Lyndsay]

One topic in this shiur that really touched me was the part about hishtadlut ruchniut and realizing that we cannot do things and then expect Hashem to respond by giving us a specific thing.  It seems so obvious but it spoke to me because I have noticed that I have done that at times and it is a constant nisayon to realize that Hashem is giving me exactly what I need even though it doesn't always match what I feel I may need at the time.

[Hadassa1]

The approach of recognizing that every person is a mere Shaliach of Hashem really helps relieve disappointment when ppl don't live up to expectations. Like my friend told me in HS in "All the world's a stage" style, to pretend that every person is an actor and Hashem moves them around the stage. You wouldn't be upset or frustrated watching an actor do something wrong, it's all a show! Similarly, it's all just a test and the "actors" all do their part as a shaliach to create the "test environment".

[Golda]

BS"D
I am still struggling with this topic in my own personal life...I have been engraved with the lesson that I need to be in control. I come from a long line of controllers..and I fall in to the pattern too easily! It really messes with my relationships.. I am inspired to be more aware of the times which I want to control...and remember that Hashem is TRULY IN CHARGE!! The joke about  me waking up one morning and seeing a anote pinned to the refrig. saying...You have the  day off...I"m in charge ...signed "Hashem" !!! Thank you R. Heller for being Hashem's shliach to remind me of the TRUTH!  This is very hard work..especially since I have been practicing the "in charge/controlling " postion for a VERY LONG time. Trust is my new key word!

[Ayelet1]

These classes have been changing my thought patterns for the better, wow! Bitachon is not my strong point, I am so happy to be learning this! Whenever I start saying "Oh, why did this have to happen right now? I was really looking forward to such-and-such," like time to myself when my baby takes a nap instead of having visitors. I've been repeating over and over, "Where Hashem wants to take you is a better place than you'll ever take yourself."

When Rebbetzin Heller spoke about "Don't trust people, love people," it really hit home. It seems like the expectations I have for myself as a friend are higher than many of my friends' expectations of themselves as friends. Like the friend who had her moods with me and always made sure to tell me all the other friends she had to call before she could get to me, and another who never managed to remember basic details about my life, and another who felt threatened by my happiness so tried to always show me how my life isn't so great, and the other who's embarrassed to be seen with me when she's with certain people... In this class I learned that there will be many times in life where people will let me down. People are, well... human! Hashem is our only true Friend, and He will always be there for us. But I can still love people and find the good in them and help them, as long as I don't put my faith in them.

Thank you, everybody! It's great chizuk to see that others are going through tests and how we all have things we're working on.

[melinda]

My experience with this weeks class has been quite mind opening. I appreciate the idea of doing chesed anonymously. This weeks parsha is about sacrifice. The anonymous sacrifice is so precious and is between you and hashem. There are no other witnesses. The reward is probably greater than plaques, awards, and other ego stroking techniques that are used to engage people to give of themselves to a good cause. I want to be influenced by this portion of the shiur in my life. I think that chesed will turn into more than superficial recognition if I try to open my heart and let my ego subside in hopes of doing chesed anonymously. This has been a great lesson in Bitachon as when you do chesed for others your are recognized by your community and hashem > This was you must truly trust in hashem to be with you always as he is the final and only witness to your chesed. the chesed we add to our bank full of mitzvos. anonymously.