Nekiut: Cleanliness in Thought

[barbara1]

I've been trying to work really hard at having Cleanliness in my thoughts.  There could be someone I know, and who I really care about, and I will have negative thoughts about this person.   What I am striving for is to have only love in my heart for this person but it's like I have this inner voice pointing out negative things.  Or maybe I will have jealousy in my heart towards someone.   So my question is, HOW do you get rid of negative thoughts about people??    It's very easy to say that we have to have nikiyut (Cleanliness) in our thoughts and heart  -  but what is the practical way to do it?

[Tzippy2]

Very good question.  I think that it is important to separate a person from their actions.  Let's say that a person does something we think is wrong.  We can disagree with the action and that is fine, hashem wants us to be thinking, discerning people.  But we should concentrate our thoughts on what makes this person special and good, in spite of their negative action. 

I once worked in a school where the principal had the students write one uniques characteristic about each of their classmates, and keep the list with them.  The excercise helped bond the girls to each other tremendously, because they had to think of what made their peers special, and that endeared their classmates to them.

The Torah teaches that every Jew has a precious soul and a unique purpose.  Reminding ourselves of our friends' positive qualities may help to cleanse ourselves of negative thoughts.

Anyone ese have ideas?  This is such a important issue.

[Fraidi1]

Jealous thoughts are so powerful and difficut to battle.  I guess the first step to fighting jealousy is to take stock of what we have and be thankful for it.  That will get us to stop being upset by what others have.