Netivot Olam II class 2: Divisiveness Within Our World

[Moderator]

It seems from this class that the wicked thrive on creating strife and division between people.  What is the inner motivation of any person, even someone we would not consider  'wicked', to build walls between people?  How can we combat this tendency within ourselves?

[miriam4]

I think it probably comes from our desire to control. Sometimes we want to "socially engineer" things.

[Dara1]

I think one major motivation is someone who is narcissistic, thereby putting themselves in the spotlight, or at least not allowing others to become any closer together. I think more impulsive people tend to do this more, although they are usually easier to see through, since there wasn't as much premeditated-deceit.

I have a question, in the shiur she told the story of  a woman who was disturbing a shiur, and the Rabbi had everyone pray that we all acquire what we are lacking. Why did this calm her down? That was just a reminder that we are all lacking and a commonality?
And one I would REALLY like to know, which I would think came to everyones mind is....if machloket is evil...then how come the gemara is FILLED with machloket?! And halacha?!

[Amanda1]

Ha I laughed at that question and then I saw that it was you Dara! Such a you question! I like it, I wonder also!
I totally agree about the gaava thing.
In answer to your question about he woman disturbing the shiur I think it was the fact they all came together and realized who they were in the scheme of things. It was a way of recognizing the unity and oneness of the world and their place in it which centered them enough to stop machloket, because there is no need when you are in touch with the big picture. Make sense?
In answer to the moderators question, I think that people build walls as a protective fence also. SOmetimes it is easier to compartmentalize and separate things rather than see them for what they truly are. Insecurities and irrational fears I think can lead to this.
Now my question!
I get how shlemus is important in personal relations, but what about within ourselves? How does it apply? Any thoughts? Also, how can we practically apply these concepts?

[Amanda1]

Furthermore, what do we do when we are in a situation when something occurs that we strongly disagree with (ie lipa or some other hashkafic situation) are we supposed to think that person is lacking ( i dont think so) or that it exists for some purpose that we dont know or what?

[Ayelet1]

1. To answer the original question, I'll just repeat something I read in The Daily Companion that has helped me a lot by putting things into perspective. It spoke about a mashal of a drug addict who wants to feel good. He takes his drug, goes on a superficial high, and then as soon as its effect wears off he feels more depressed than he did before he took it. The same holds true for speaking lashon hara (or stirring up machloket). Our neshama yearns for spiritual growth. But real growth is hard. Putting others' faults in the spotlight creates an illusion of reaching higher. (And as soon as that wears off, we feel even lower than we were before.)
Another answer could be that people who aren't happy might be afraid of the happiness of others, hence they stir up machloket.

2. As for Dara's question about machloket in halacha, I wonder if this is an answer. Peace and loving others requires appreciating their goodness, their "g-dliness," and machloket covers that up. But machloket among our sages is only in pursuit of knowing the word of Hashem. So it's really very different. I would love to hear a better answer, though! (The other half of your question would be how they come to disagree in the first place.)