Topics in the Parsha I class 3: Toldos - Testing the Essence

[Moderator]

We discussed the importance of paying attention to others. This is not limited to those who seem to be "high maintenance". Children with "regular" capabilities and friends who are not in a state of constant crisis are also in need of our sensitivity. Give three specific examples of how we can practically incorporate this idea into our own life.

[barbara1]

My first example of paying attention to others who are not "high maintanance would be picking up the phone and calling people who I've fallen out of touch with, especially during this very tramatic time of kassams and katuyshot falling in Southern Israel.    Even though a person might not live in Sderot or Ashkelon, people all over Israel cannot help but be affected by what is going on here.
My second example would be to extend a sincere thanks to a wonderful teacher of mine who I've been learning with for several years.   She is a wife and mother of a large family.   Although she does a lot of traveling so she can teach her wonderful classes, she is always available for phonecalls from her students.    Perhaps a special gift of a handwritten letter expressing my gratitude.....
My third example would be to individually take out for a meal (coffee, lunch etc.....) each member of my family, and to let them know in detail why they are so wonderful.    This includes my incredibly supportive husband!

[Jenna1]

It was brought up in the class how people often spend time on the difficult children or friends and the ones who are "fine" don't get so much attention. 

I would think that for children, it would be very important to make a regular time spent focusing on the well-adjusted/doing fine kids.  It's easy to know that you SHOULD spend time with them, but if you don't make a specific time, your good intentions will get lost.  Pick something that the less needy child enjoys and make sure to do that at least once a week.

In the friend category, it's really the same idea.  Make sure to call the friend who "has it all together" and just check in.  And really try to listen to what they're saying - do they need anything?  Are they asking for anything but just not in a direct way?  And at the same time, make boundaries with more needy friends.  I have on my "to-do" list a note that says "did you call AB this week?".

And the third category is listening to my needs.  I tend to be the non-needy person and want to help everyone.  But, I think it's also important to make time for myself (just like for the non-needy child) for "mental health" time.

Thank you,
Jenna